Opinionator

Here you will find my opinions on just about everything (that I can think of)

Movies:

The Dark Knight- The single best superhero movie, I’ve ever seen

The Avengers- Great action sequences, but that’s about it

Iron Man- Robert Downey Jr as a badass who fights terrorists in a shiny metal suit, what’s not to like other than the dialogue.

Gladiator- Russell Crow is a roman general turned gladiator, a fitting role and a great movie

The Bourne Series- an enjoyable time spent watching Matt Damon beat up several terrible assassins and government agents.

Lincoln- He freed the slaves, AND he’s a great actor

Les Misérables- This movie was amazing, the music was great, and Russell Crowe wasn’t THAT bad.

The Lord of the Rings- Legendary story + Sick battle scenes + Hobbits = an incredible series with a bitchy main character.

The Hobbit- The book was better

Good Will Hunting- Not what I was expecting, I thought the movie was about their search for a Goodwill, boy was I wrong!

Star Wars Series- This series gave us lightsabers and the force. Then again it was made by George Lucas. Overall my favorite SciFi series.

Step Brothers- Bunkbeds, Hulk hands, and a singing Will Farrell: hilarious movie

The Blues Brothers- Words can not describe how amazingly ridiculous this movie is, and I love it. Also, great music.

Metal Man- No not Iron Man…Metal Man. If you’ve never seen this gem then you’re lucky.

Pirates of the Caribbean- its a fun movie and the theme song is catchy.

Inception- Spoiler alert, he’s still dreaming.

Toy Story (series)- Bloody brilliant work

Up- Words can not describe how good this movie is. Anyone who did not shed at least a single tear during the intro to that movie has no soul and deserves to be stoned in public.

Antz- Congrats you copied Bug’s Life

Bug’s Life- All I can say is meh

Love Actually- any movie where Liam Neeson isn’t beating up wolves or murdering assassins is a crime against humanity.

Wicker Man- This movie should probably be renamed, “Nick Cage Punches Women” because that’s just about all that happens.

Avatar- Dances with Wolves with Aliens, what’s not to like, other than the plot?

District 9- Since when are ScFi/Action films allowed to be deep?

Recess: School’s Out- Easily the greatest cinematic creation of all time, but actually.

Everything Must Go- This is the movie I want to make.

Charlie Bartlett- Freaking love this movie.

Being John Malkovich- I have no idea what I just saw, but I like the idea that Charlie Sheen hangs out with John Malkovich.

Time Bandits- freaking Time Bandits man…

October Sky: My life goal is to get a movie made about my life staring Jake Gyllenhaal.

Drinking Buddies- If this was a record of my life, I would be totally fine with that.

Dealing With Idiots- I don’t care if you’ve ignored everything I’ve said over the past year, go watch this movie! Now!

Goats- Is there any way I can have a baby goat to just carry around all the time? Also Goatman.

Supersize Me- A health food fanatic’s masturbatory fantasy.

School of Rock- The greatest film in the entire history of mankind.

Super- If Ellen Page had a comic book store I would go there every single day.

TV Shows:

The Office- Was a great show, and then Michael left…

Parks and Recreation- Had a rough start, but easily one of the best shows on TV (Aziz Ansari is the man)

30 Rock- Pretty good, Kenneth and Tracy are funny, but much like in the show, no one cares about Tina Fay

Community- Easily my favorite show on television, everyday truly is october 19th (Six seasons and a movie!)

New Girl- Great show with the exception of Jess (aka the new girl).

South Park- This show is flipping messed up…but its soooo funny.

The Daily Show- It’s the second best way to watch the news next to…

The Colbert Report- The news with 80% more awesome.

Arrested Development- How did this show get canceled? But it’s okay because it came back, so it can die a slow and painful death just like The Office!

The Walking Dead- Gonna be honest, not sure why everyone hates the writers of this show, seems fine to me.

Game of Thrones- Everyone and their mother has told me to watch this show.

Breaking Bad- So he has cancer and he sells drugs, isn’t the show like over now? That’s just the first season?! What?!

Suits- No Vishnu, I’m not going to watch Suits no matter how good you tell me it is.

Burn Notice- “Who watches Burn Notice? Harris watches Burn Notice!”- Aziz Ansari

Glee- I don’t see the appeal, I just don’t.

Family Guy- I want to murder Seth McFarlane

Survivor- How is this show still going?! I can only watch someone stupid try to make a fire so many times before I get bored.

Wilfred- It’s one of the few shows that actually has me guessing what’s coming next, also it’s mad deep.

Freaks and Geeks- Holy crap how have I not known about this show and why is it only one season?!?!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia- This show transcends words.

Music

Lil’ Wayne- If I wanted to listen to someone with a crappy voice, who smoked way too much pot I’d listen to Bob Dylan.

2 Chainz- That’s about as creative as he gets

Eminem- He sounds very angry, I would appreciate it if he stopped yelling at me, but otherwise he’s alright by me.

Kanye West- Proof that crazy people can make good music

Jay Z- The man is fresh, I’ll give him that

ABBA- So much no…

Adele- good music, but an annoying laugh

Katy Perry- I don’t know what’s going on with here hair and her music is incredibly simple and repetitive, but I can’t stop listening to it for some reason.

Beyoncé- Yup

Michael Jackson- Creepy dude, messed up life, but made some sweet jams.

Fun.- If I hear Some Nights one more time, I will murder someone (to be clear, that is a joke)

Guns and Roses- cool, I’ve heard sweet child of mine, you can stop writing that by inside bathroom stall I’ve ever been in.

Gym Class Heroes- Who are you again?

Hoddie Allen- Don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s totally better in concert.

Ingrid Michaelson- I do approve, although I’d wish she’d use fewer bar chords, but that’s just me (and my terrible guitar skills).

James Brown- I feel good listening to his music (Get it? that’s the name of that song he sings!).

Jimi Hendrix- Which one of you wrote All Along the Watchtower!? (maybe I should just google it) Either way, when he’s not going crazy on stage, he makes some sweet jams and jellies.

Creedence Clearwater Revival- were they ever just Creedence Clearwater? Also I have a stinking suspicion that Proud Mary isn’t about a boat…

Bob Dylan- I made the mistake of buying his Christmas album, I’m scarred for life. But he was good before he ruined christmas.

The Beatles- I don’t always know what I’m listening to, but I like it

The Talking Heads- proof that acid is great for making music

Mumford and Sons- More Banjo!

The Killers- I have a feeling these guys don’t do any actual killing, what a disappointment.

U2- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! One of my favorites, not going to lie.

The Black Keys- Yeah, alright, I can jam to this.

Taylor Swift- Who hasn’t caught themselves singing along to Taylor Swift? I know I have.

Good Old War- The sooner Brian stops telling me about this band the better, it is catchy though.

Rebecca Black- No. I’m not jumping on the let’s hate on Rebecca Black bandwagon.

The Band- It’s THE Band!

Imagine Dragons- can we be done please, I’ve heard your two songs enough, let’s just be done.

Bastille- Textbook 2013 number 1 jam.

Passenger- I want to like you, but I’ve heard Let Her Go way too many times.

Video Games (Nerd Alert!)

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare- Amazing gameplay, cool story, one of my favorite FPS

Call of Duty (Post-CoD 4)- It would have been nice if you had at least put in an effort Infinity Ward. Each one is essentially a re-release of the last, at least Treyarch tried with BlOps.

Battlefield 3- Incredible graphics and fun gameplay, but tried a little too hard to be like CoD.

Halo Series- This game would be perfect if it weren’t for the stupid Flood! Why couldn’t I just kill aliens Bungie? That’s all I want!

Fallout 3- Easily my favorite RPG, The Capital Wasteland is awesome!

Fallout New Vegas- I miss the Capital Wasteland, but still really fun.

Mass Effect Series- A close runner up to Fallout, Mass Effect had a great story, fun gameplay, but was tainted by a poor ending to a game that deserved far better.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic- Great gameplay, and a story that’s better than the movies.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution- Amazing story and old-school gameplay makes for one of my favorite games

Minecraft- I hate you for all the hours I have wasted building random crap, but I can’t stop playing (I have a problem).

The Witcher- It’s soooo loooooong

Skyrim- There’s a very good reason everyone loves this game.

Payday: The Heist- My favorite game I hadn’t ever heard of.

GTA- Screw the story, I just want to blow crap up and get chased by the popo!

State of Decay- Slaughtering zombies open world style, I like it.

Bioshock Infinite- Hated they hype, loved the game.

Kerbal Space Program- The best 20 bucks I ever spent

Books

The DaVinci Code/Angels and Demons/The Lost Symbol- It was a fun read, ok Brian!!

Fahrenheit 451- That’s some deep stuff…

MacBeth- …sorry I fell asleep, what’s going on?

Romeo and Juliet- the Leonardo DiCaprio version is waaay better.

Redwall- Awesome if you’re in elementary school…otherwise, not so much

Harry Potter Series- I hate Harry Potter and magic is dumb, use the force like a real man.

How to Build a Time Machine- sweet now I can go kill Hitler!

The Lord of the Rings- Nerd powers are over 9000!

A Thousand Splendid Suns- Such a good book, but now I have to read The Kite Runner

Steve Jobs (Biography)- So you can be a dick and run the world, nice!

1984- Gave legitimacy to every paranoid schizophrenic, but otherwise a good book.

Hunger Games- I hate Catniss so much.

Paddle Your Own Canoe- Go! Go read it now! Seriously.

The Code Book- Great, now everything I write is encrypted with a vignette cipher.

People

Morgan Freeman- I want him to narrate my life.

Russell Crowe- He might not be able to sing, but he killed like 50 gladiators single handedly, and he’s Robin Hood!

Hugh Jackman- Wait…you mean Wolverine?

Leonardo DiCaprio- The man can act (btw he’s still dreaming)

Keano Reaves- What can I say, he’s the chosen one

Jim Gaffigan- This guy is funny, and he bares more than a passing resemblance to a polar bear, the man’s pale.

Steve Jobs- The man’s a dick, but he makes damn fine products

Bill Gates- Just an all over nice guy

Barack Obama- The man won a Nobel Prize before he even did anything, tell me that’s not amazing (or incredibly biased).

Aziz Ansari- you have no idea how much money I would pay to hang out with this guy. Seriously hilarious.

Brian- Shut up Brian!

Niel DeGrasse Tyson- Putting the Suave in Science since 1958

Bill Nye- You can’t beat the Science Guy

If there’s any other opinions you want to hear leave a comment. If you don’t like my opinions then go make your own blog!

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