“HOLY SHIT IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS” QUADRENNIAL BLOGIVERSARY CELEBRATION EXTRAVAGANZA OF DESTINY: HOW DID I GET HERE SPECIAL: SOMEBODY KILL ME

Damn, you guys…it’s been four years since I started this blog. I can’t believe it took four whole years for this thing to go to shit. When I started Obama was still president, the world looked happy and hopeful, we had just dodged the apocalypse, and I had just gotten over how disappointing The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was. I feel like so much has changed. Come hop aboard the nostalgia train!

I worked really hard on this
I worked really hard on this

Man, back in the day I was such a hopeful young-spirited little goon. Runnin’ around the high school, takin’ classes, tryna get it with the ladies  Look at me now. Runnin’ around college, takin’ classes…wait. You know it’s during these easy-karma nostalgia trips that you just got to sit back and remember all the good times we’ve had over the past four years. We’re doing a clip show is what I’m saying. God that sounded dorky, and I wonder why I haven’t been blogging as much recently.

Disintrested Matt
Disgusted Matt

It all started four years ago on this very day. The year was 2013, I was young and naive. One day whilst hanging out in the lobby of the ole’ High School Carey Austin said, “Hey Matt, you should start a blog.” So I did. And now we’re here. Wow guys, what a trip. That was fun, anyways I’ll see you back here in another year!

That's It? Matt
That’s It? Matt

What? I’m only at 200 words? Fuck. Ok look, I’m going to be 100% honest because, well that’s what you’re supposed to do on blogs right? Ok so this morning I woke up and I saw my phone ring, except rather than being one of the 80 messages I get from St. Michael’s College (STOP emailing me by the way, it’s been four years, if I was going to show up I would have already) I saw an alert that said ” Gilmo’s World Blogiversary: Tomorrow”. At that point I just kept going about my day, ate a pop tart, played some Civ, exciting I know.

Get on with it Matt
Get on with it Matt

Anyways, as I was going to take my shower I thought up that aborted fetus of a title that you probably read when you clicked on the link and then said, “yup that’s what I’m gonna call it”. Aaaaand that’s as far as I got. Well 6 hours later and we’re here, I’m stalling while I desperately try to think of something funny to say about my blog, which I barley post on these days. But in reality what’s there to say? Hey, the three of you who check here regularly hoping for new content (May I just ask: Why?) look we’ve made it to another year!”

Callback!
Callback!

If I’m being honest with myself there’s nothing cool or interesting about the continued passage of time, actually it would be cooler if time didn’t pass. Like how weird would it be if we all woke up tomorrow and it was still January 22nd. I’m getting off track. I suppose that’s what the role of the content creator is though, creating content where there isn’t any. Looks like I’m not very good at that.

Sad Matt
Sad Matt

Ok, whew, we’re up to 500 words, getting close. You know, if there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few years it’s- well that blogs are a dead medium, but more importantly I’ve learned how much work it is coming up with high quality junk that no one’s going to read. God what was I doing in High school? I used to churn out three or four posts a week, now I’m lucky if I get one a month. But I guess my content has changed a lot. It used to be a lot of boring rants like this one (cue internal dialogue). I mean just making DND is like 3-4 hours, and I already have the plot points prepared! I don’t really have anything more than that, I just want to complain.

Get on with it Matt
Complaining Matt

Well here we are (I don’t think I’ve said that enough yet). Put another mark on the board. You, me and Gilmo’s World have made it another year. I wonder what is in store for the next one. Hm…who knows. Catch you later bud.

Sincerely, Matt
Sincerely, Matt
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