Is it over? It’s over right? It is? Sweet, finally. Now I don’t usually like to play to the trending topics BS (oh it’s New Year’s Eve? Thank goodness Gilmo’sWorld.wordpress.com warned me!), but I don’t know, for some reason I like New Year’s. And also I’m in a mood. But I think it’s generally a good idea to take a step back every once and a while and look back on what you’ve accomplished, that and to stop being a self-righteous hipster asshole all the time.
Like most years, a lot of stuff happened in 2015. I went to Ireland, I started playing DnD, I dropped a class for the first time ever (trust me it was every bit as dramatic as it sounds), and I did other things. It’s weird, I know I did a lot of stuff, but none of it really seems to stick out in my mind. All the days of work and classes just kind of blend together into this kind of gross sweaty mush. Which brings me to the theme of this piece.
I feel like this is the year I started becoming a real adult…kind of. It’s kind of a weird bittersweet type thing. Because on the one hand I can look down at all the kids in high school and middle school and shout, “Ha Nerds!”, hell I could probably do that to some of the kids in my classes. And with that comes all the freedom and crap that comes with being able to decide how many cans of suspicious ravioli to buy off the internet.
But on the other hand there’s the terrifying triple threat of anxiety of: losing touch with my childhood, declining physical and metal abilities, and lost time due to increasing responsibilities. The first one I’ve talked about a bit, and yeah, I feel like everybody goes through that, not even all the legos in the world can make me shake the feeling of losing touch with that awesome, stupid, funny, innocent, childhood Matt. But we don’t really need to go into it again.
As for declining mental and physical abilities, I’m just a stupid 20-year old bitching about nonsense, moving on. And here’s where we get to the crux of this article: time. Maybe it’s just the holidays and I have 20 million things going on, but damn do I need some time. I’ve got internship crap to worry about, DnD stuff to write, dumb things to photoshop, blog posts to write, a movie to edit (oh yeah, by the way I’m making a movie, more on that later, btw lower your expectations), TV shows to catch up on, school work to think about among other things. Not to mention trying to balance all that garbage with hanging out with friends, and family, while still making time for other stuff like video games and youtube.
The point is, I have all these great ideas (or at least I think they’re great ideas) for things I want to do, but I can’t because all of my dumb responsibilities. But I feel like it’s not just now, I feel like there’s always something I have to do now. There’s always some test or some assignment that I have to complete that is stopping me from messing around and doing the dumb stuff that I love. It may be a New Year, but nothing really changes except for the number at the top of the calendar (put that on an inspirational poster). Worse is the feeling that if I had a solid week of nothing I could knock it all out, but let’s move on.
Which brings us to the biggest blogging related trend of 2015: a lack of content. Statistically speaking I have averaged around 120-150 posts per year. This year…38. That is abysmal and horrible, and if more people were actively invested in this blog I would feel awful (don’t worry I do regardless). I don’t know why, but when everything started stacking up this year, the first thing to fall away was this, and that bums me out because I love this. Where else do you find such a great echo chamber of wonderful ideas (you’re right Matt, great point Matt). If it doesn’t sound like it let me make it official. I’m sorry. I messed up this year guys, I dropped the ball on the blog (ballog, no, the…balg, no the bloll) and I’m sorry. If not for you, I’m sorry for me, because this shit is genuinely therapeutic, and I relish the opportunity to photoshop my friends heads on to grotesque figures.
Alright now that were done bitching about 2015 let’s get to the good part. The overly optimistic and hopeful views of the future (damn do I sound pessimistic today)! If I can be totally honest, I have high hopes for the future. And not just 2016.
Being the young 20-something that I am, I can’t shake the feeling of unlimited possibility. I can’t help but think about where I’ll be, where my friends will be, and even where my family will be this time next year, let alone 5-10 years from now. What makes me the most optimistic is that I have no idea where anyone will be. Presumably most of us will still be pursuing the same career path, but who knows. The world is a crazy place, you never know what might happen.
Honestly, I’m pumped. I couldn’t be more excited to see how everything shakes out. I can’t wait to see what happens to people, hell I can’t wait to see what happens to me (for the sake of everyone, please let it be a girlfriend). I like the person that I’ve grown into, and I have a feeling I’ll like 2016 Gilmo even more.
So here’s to the future. Here’s to a whole world of new adventures. Here’s to new friends and new laughs. Here’s to a super corny last line. Here’s to 2016.