Matt’s Wishlist 2014

Wondering what to get your favorite internet blogger for christmas? I mean it’s a little late, but whatever, I’ll just assume your tardiness is not a reflection of your devotion to this relationship. Well luckily for you I’ve complied this helpful list of things to get me!

  • Laser Shark- Price $55,000
    • I’m going to say $55,000 is a conservative estimate, any high quality laser shark is probably going to run you more like $75,000-$90,000.
  • SR-71 Blackbird- Price $34 million
    • aka the coolest plane of all time
  • A Charizard- Price [unlisted]
    • aka the best pokemon
  • A bean bag chair- Price $40
    • But like a nice one, I don’t want one that’s going to break and spill beans all over the place because then I have to get down on my hands and knees and start picking stupid beans out of the carpet, and no one wants to do that, especially if I’m busy and I’m already stressed, that’s just going to be too much to handle.
  • N64 with Rumble Pack- $50
    • If you could throw in a quality copy of Super Smash Bros you will forever be my hero
  • Camera Lenses- Price $500
    • The 58mm is nice, but I’d like to have some more versatility
  • Night Vision Goggles- Price $75
    MDVG Cover 3
    Use this as a reference
    • So I can see my enemies at night.
  • A Gillie Suit- Price $75
    • So I can sneak up on my enemies.
  • B83 Tactical Nuclear Bomb- Price $45 million
    • So I can lay waste to my enemies.
  • Lego Super Star Destroyer- Price $399
    • Or real Super Star Destroyer, if you know where to get one.
  • A Megazord- Price $162 billion
    • First choice Astro Megaword, Second choice Dragonzord.
  • Keanu Reeves- Price All the Money
    • For the holidays this year, get your loved ones the best present of all, the chosen one, Keanu Reeves!
  • Xbox One- Price $349
    • Overall the next gen consoles are pretty underwhelming, but I’ll take an Xbox if you’re just passing them out all willy nilly
  • GTA V- Price $60
    THIS IS MY MOUNTAIN BRIAN!
    • I’ve heard good things…very good things.
  • Brian’s Head on a stake- Reward $20,000
    • I will have my revenge Brian!
  • iPhone 6 64Gb- Price $199 (with contract)
    • NOT the iPhone 6 plus, that thing is too damn big.
  • Micronesia- Price $335 million
    • If necessary I will also settle for Guam.
  • Stacks on Stack- Price Stacks on Stacks
  • Your love an affection- Price: Priceless

 

On the Eleventh day of Matt’s Vaguely Religious Winter-Themed Festivities my true love gave to me:

11 Popsicle Sticks

go ahead and count
go ahead and count
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