The Bane of my Existence

It seems as though for as long as I can remember I’ve always had one class that I hated. Every year and every semester there was one period of the day that I truly resented. Last semester was Physics I, and before that it was Health, my senior year of high school it was AP English, before that it was French, and before that was Middle school and all I remember from Middle School is being godly at 4-square.

EAT DICKS BRIAN!!
EAT DICKS BRIAN!!

Well this semester the class I hate is Statics, and let me explain why.

In case your not aware of what statics is allow me to elaborate. Here at Georgia Tech sophomore physics is divided into two disciplines: the first is dynamics, the study of things in motion, and the second is statics, the study of things that don’t move, and it is exactly as stupid as it sounds. Let me give you an analogy.

Imagine you and a friend, let’s call him Kevin, you and Kevin are walking through the park. It’s a nice fall day, the leaves are changing colors, and the ground is covered in frost. A slight breeze rolls in from the west- sorry I’m getting carried away, I really miss my sweater weather. Anyways while you’re walking along a rock suddenly sprouts wings and begins to fly away. Startled you yell to your friend, “Kevin look that rock has turned into some kind of rock-like velociraptor and has now taken flight! This is incredible!” At which point Kevin looks at a different rock and says, “look that rock is sitting motionless on the ground! How titillating!”

Who would have thought the google results for "titillating" would be all pictures of tits. Certainly not m, I'll tell you that much.
Thanks Google!

That’s a pretty spot on analogy. Nothing happens…ever. It’s just an endless stream of I-beams, and support structures. It’s not like things ever break. You don’t end a problem saying, “and the bridge collapses killing 30 people and a family of snapping turtles.”

NO NOT THE TURTLES!!
NO NOT THE TURTLES!!

And it’s not just that the class is boring as nobs, it’s also the exact same thing I’ve done 800 million times in every other physics and math class I have ever taken. With all due respect, I don’t need an entire class dedicated to chapters 3-4 of Intro to Physics.

Now I could keep going, but I think I’ve made my point clear enough: Statics is a dumb course, and I resent having to take it. But this is not an isolated instance. It’d be easy to pin this on some lame college requirement, but as I previously mentioned, this has happened before. Every year there is a class that raises my ire, clearly there is some greater trend at work. The reasons for my hatred have varied over the year: the class is pointless/stupid, the teacher is a dumb prick, I’m a gatdamn adult, I don’t need to take sex ed again.

It's not like there's any sex to be had anyways
It’s not like there’s any sex to be had anyways

But if I’m gonna be totally honest here, I think I just like having something to hate. Plenty of things are annoying and it’s comforting having something to target all that anger towards. When you have something you can point to something as the cause of your anger, you can complain about it, you can blame it, you can siphon off all that rage and plop it right onto of whatever you’re angry at like a steaming pile of…well you get the idea.

Those search results were strange let me tell ya.
Please don’t ask me why this exists

In the end there’s nothing wrong with the targets of our anger. I mean don’t get me wrong, there are definite problems with statics, but nothing worth throwing a hissy fit over. All we really want is a punching bag so we can release our rage, and wipe our butts of the whole affair.

 

 

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