My Dream Girl

People ask me all the time, and by people I mean Brian asks me all the time, “Matt what is your dream girl like.” Now the lame truth is up until recently (the past few years) I hadn’t really thought about it. I’m mean sure I’ve thought about dating and relationships, but not in terms of realities, but more in terms of that’d be something nice to have. Anyways, around the time I started my blog, I opened up a pandora’s box and have since sketched out my idea of the perfect mate. And since nothing sells like sex, and I’m desperate for subject matter, here’s your answer Brian.

And the audience recoiled to learn that Brian was a dog the entire time!
Brian is such a hopeless romantic

Now my image of the ideal woman is formed out of two competing threads. The first you can probably guess, and that is physical appearance. The fact of the matter is that I am a human being and human beings are evolutionarily wired to like attractive, fertile-looking people. What do I mean by fertile-looking, you know: wide hips, large breasts, symmetrical features; the kind of person who can ensure the continuation of the human race. Now I am going to go on to explain in the next paragraph how my idea of the perfect woman is more than that, but the fact remains that girl in my head is still, tall, skinny, darker hair, with a pretty (read: symmetrical) face, as I am evolutionarily (and probably societally predisposed). For example you can show me a picture of Emma Watson, and knowing nothing else about her, I would most certainly enjoy the sexy times with her, because she is objectively attractive.

Damn girl, you Fertile
Damn girl, you fertile!

Alright, on to the interesting bits. Now as I alluded to earlier, I’m interested in more than just a pretty face. The woman of my dreams isn’t just someone I want to share the sexy times with, she’s someone I can share my life with. Like a best friend with complementary genetalia, and less body odor. For me that means someone who shares my sense of humor, someone who likes similar (but not necessarily the same) music, and someone who has at least an appreciation for the Star Wars franchise.

That last one is non-negotiable.
That last one is non-negotiable.

It may sound like I’m joking, but I’m not. I want to be with the kind of person I can “nerd-out” with over a screening of Star Wars Episode VII. I want to be with the kind of person who doesn’t just tolerate my enthusiasm for science, but who shares it. I want to be with the kind of person who appreciates the totally not at all inflated superiority of Vinyl over digital media. I want to be with the kind of person who loves me as much as I love them, but I guess that kind of goes without saying. Basically the kind of girl you can sing Sam Cooke songs about.

In summary the girl of my dreams is a smart, attractive, nerdy, funny, and generally awesome human being, with a healthy appreciation for Star Wars.

If you enjoy listening to me spill my guts out then listen up, because there’s only TWO MORE DAYS OF AUGUST MONTH OF MADNESS. Which means there are only two more days until I go back to my usual (read: sporadic) schedule (read:when I feel like it)! And remember you can always email me your comments and suggestions at