Esteemed Representatives of the 113th Congress of the United States of America,
I come before you today to speak about a matter of great importance to myself, and to my country. For most of the 21st century the United States has been a nation plagued by conflict. Whether it be bloody battles overseas, or legislative ones here at home, nothing has been easy. It would seem that America’s position in the world is falling. Many feel as though our seat as a global superpower is being assaulted on all sides, by enemies large and small who would seek to dethrone us. Our economy is hurting, our middle class is shriveling, and our government is ineffective. But things do not have to be this way.
Many things have changed since our founding more than 200 years ago, but one thing has not: the American People. We may hail from different origins, we may wear different clothes, we may speak in funny slang, and we may hold different beliefs, but we are still American at heart. We Americans strive for innovation, and the pursuits of knowledge. We Americans thirst for excellence, to be the best in the world. We Americans seek to be tested, yearning for a challenge so that we may rise up in defeat it. And you can be damn sure that we are ready to do our part.
The United States in the 21st Century has an unparalleled capacity of excellence. The American People now more than ever are waiting for their chance to contribute. We want to make this country better than it ever was, we’re just waiting for the call. We will face great challenges in the road ahead, and we have the skills, we have the drive, and we have the will to do what needs to be done. And so I say to you, the legislature of the greatest country on Earth, Put Us To Work! America’s infrastructure is falling into disrepair? I will build your bridges and roads! Global Warming is threatening to decimate our crops and flood our cities? I will build your alternative energy supply! Our Education system is failing? I will teach the generations of tomorrow! American domination of space waning? I WILL BUILD YOUR SPACESHIP!
Put your faith in me! Put your faith in all of us! The American people are waiting for their moment, give it to them! We are desperately yearning for our time make a dent in the grand experiment we call the US of A. Put me to work building the roads and bridges and buildings, and health devices, and energy systems, and communications equipment, and spaceships, and planes, trains and automobiles of tomorrow, and I will not let you down.
In all of our storied history there hasn’t been a single problem that we couldn’t solve, and today is no different. America’s status may be falling, but we have the power to stop it. All we need is a call to action. An investment in our country and in ourselves. Harness the might of the American people and incredible things will happen.
America is ready, how can we be of service?