The Backup Plan

As I’ve already highlighted my plan to become a famous director and then retire to a life of pirating in the South Pacific, but just incase my master plan should fail (yeah like that’ll happen) I have developed a series of backup plans.

Plan A:

Surprisingly enough that thing about becoming a director and retiring in the South Pacific, is actually Plan B. Plan A is to just get hired by NASA, and then start my own science show for kids, and become best buds with Bill Nye and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. And if I happen to hope a ride to the moon on a spaceship I helped design, well that would be nice too.

Plan B:

That whole thing where I get rejected from NASA, become a famous director, go on a rampage after having James Franco assassinated, meet a Polar Bear named Kevin, become best friends with him, then return to society, meet my wife, retire to an island in the south pacific, start my own pirate Armada, conquer the South Pacific, Reunite the Korean Penninsula, win a nobel prize and then retire for realsies.

Plan C:

In the unlikely scenario that both plans A and B fail I will move to Portland to start my own indie movie studio. Why Portland your asking, BECAUSE THE DREAM OF THE 90’S IS ALIVE IN PORTLAND! Also Portlandia is an awesome show.

Plan D:

If were on Plan D then it’s because NASA doesn’t want me, and I have finally come to the realization that I suck at making movies. If this is the case then I will go back to school to get whatever qualification you need to teach High School and become a Math/Physics teacher. I’ve nothing against teaching it’s just that my brother is a teacher and who wants to do the same thing as your brother, like…ew.

Plan E:

Plan E is all about the apocalypse. In which case I will execute the Ben Contingency where by I will go to my friend Ben’s house where me and my friends will form an asskicking team to fight back the zombies, or whatever plague has brought about the fall of civilization.

Plan F:

Plan F as in Famous. IF though some stroke of witchcraft my blog becomes wildly famous, and/or that Youtube I keep saying I’m going to start goes viral, I will buy a bitching mansion in the middle of the woods. It will feature a helipad, infinity pool, and manhunting arena. Then I’ll probably buy a boat, and then I’ll buy a littler boat to tow behind the first one. Not sure what I’ll do after that, probably just sleep on my hammock for the rest of eternity.