For many a day have we fought this war. Fierce has been the fighting; steep the competition. But from early dawn to frigid dust the battle rages, never ceasing. And lo we meet again, on the barren field of battle. A time may come when my plans are defeated, when my will has been depleted, and my forces retreated, BUT THAT IS NOT THIS DAY!
The tides may be on your side, but my will is stronger than the meager efforts you have sent to thwart me. My cup runeth over with outlets with which to defeat your rebellion. You lack the power which I possess. But it is no matter, your time will come. While you rot in a pile of you fallen kindred I will be ruling my realm along side your replacement.
Listen clearly and listen well, for I will not repeat myself. No matter the effort you amass, nor the fierceness you wield, I shall not be defeated. Not now not ever. For as long as I am alive no tweets shall go untwitten, no statuses unposted. My jewels will be bejeweled, my wings will be tiny and my birds will be flappy. You are my iPhone and I am the master, and with all of my might I shall continue to fight the war of low battery!