Now that I’m in College it’s time to start thinking about the future. Life is short, and I don’t have time to waste. Time is money, and money buys burritos, AND I DON’T WASTE BURRITTOS. Anyways, I’ve decide that it’s time to sit down and figure out what I’m gonna do for the rest of my life, so here’s the plan:
May 7th 2017- Graduate from Georgia Tech with a Major in Aerospace engineering, and a minor in Film (because why the hell not).
Summer 2017- After the conclusion of four long years of unrelenting work, I return to Vermont to spend the summer having a blast, and hanging out with my friends.
July 17th 2017- Narrowly escape the cops after firing my Super-potato Cannon “Wilma” at a nearby drone.
August 8th-12th 2017- Fly to Maryland and interview for a Position at NASA’s Goddard Space Center.
September 25th 2017- Get rejected from NASA crouching my life long dream.
September 2017-March 2018- Spiraling depression as a result of not getting into NASA.
April 5th 2018- Restart Gilmartin Productions in an effort to rehabilitate myself.
April 6th-25th 2018- Rewrite Project Twiggy (no you don’t get to know what that is) so as to not suck.
April 26th-30th 2018- Casting for Project Twiggy.
May-July 2018- Film
August 2018- Post-production
September 2018- Initial Screenings for a few of my friends
October 26th 2018- Get picked up by a few local theaters
November 15th 2018- Youtube Version of my directoral debut goes viral.
November 16th 2018- Nationwide fame ensues
November 21st 2018- Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg taps me for his next comedy I’m Friends with James Franco
January 20th 2019- James Franco dies of totally not the hit man I hired to kill him.
January 21st 2019- Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg fight over who was better friends with James Franco before he died. The two breakup, I’m Friends with James Franco is canceled.
January 22nd 2019- Deciding that the film business is too volatile for me, I leave to try my hand at NASA again.
February 19th-14th 2019- Once again fly to Goddard Space Center for an interview with NASA.
March 2nd 2019- Get rejected from NASA again.
March 3rd-10th 2019- Accelerated spiraling depression.
March 11th-13th 2019- Go on a rampage to get revenge on everyone who ever wronged me.
March 14th-September 2019- Live in the woods of Northern Saskatchewan to escape the cops pursuing me after my rampage. During this time, rescue a Polar Bear cub, name it Kevin and raise it into adulthood, at which point, release it into the wilderness.
October 5th 2019- Get a job at SpaceX
October 6th 2019- Be the first person to land on the Moon since the Appollo missions, screw you NASA.
October 7th 2019- Stand on the Moon and flip Earth the old double gun salute (something tells me that doesn’t mean what I think it means).
October 8th 2019- Renter Earth’s atmosphere a global hero.
October 12th 2019- Using both my global fame, and impeccable charm, broker a peace deal between every warring faction. Global Peace ensues.
November 1st 2019- Restart Gilmartin Productions using my SpaceX money.
November 2019-April 2029- Make awesome movies, enjoy continuing global fame.
July 17th 2022- Meet the awesomest woman ever.
July 17th 2024- Get Married.
May 2nd 2029-Retire at the ripe age of 33 to a private island in the South Pacific with my wife.
May 24th 2029- Reunite with Kevin, bring him to my private island, we will be friends until the end of time.
June 4th-6th 2029- Reunite with my friends from High School, we all take turns riding Kevin (don’t worry he loves piggy back rides).
June-December 2029- Relax and just generally be awesome.
Well that will get us up to 2030, but don’t worry I have more in store.