Adventures in Clarksville #7

After a week on hiatus, Adventures in Clarksville is back! The following episode has been edited from it’s original version.  Click here to catch up on what you’ve missed so far. So get ready to behold the new-ish and slightly altered Adventures in Clarksville now with non-misleading titles! Today’s episode: The Party’s End

While Adam and Carly were upstairs “sight seeing”, Tommy was downstairs still trying to avoid talking to his old teammates. Eventually his luck ran out. As he was hiding under one of the snack tables, he noticed one of them coming towards the table. He quickly jumped out from underneath, and landed square in the face of Trevor, the captain of the Baseball team. Trying to save face Tommy said, “oh, hey Trevor…I didn’t see you there. What have you guys been up to? Sorry I got to run.” As he turned around to run, he found that he was completely surrounded by his former teammates. Looking about as threatening as is humanely possible Trevor said, “Hey man, where you been? It’s like you’ve been avoiding us. I wonder why, we haven’t gotten a chance to catch up since you quit the team.” “Oh, man sorry guys, I’ve just been so swamped…with…stuff. I hate to leave so abruptly, but I’ve got a…thing I’ve got to run to,” said Tommy very nervously. “Surely you can hang out with your old pals for just a little while. Come on, we’ve got a new game, we’ve invented. Since we like you so much we’re gonna let you be the first to play,” said Trevor in a very menacing tone. Tommy couldn’t take it anymore, he finally just broke down and said, “please don’t stick a pipe in my ass and make me butt-chug, I have a very sensitive rectum.” Looking very confused Trevor responded saying, “What the hell are you talking about? Why would we make you butt-chug that’s disgusting.” Feeling very relieved Tommy said, “You weren’t going to make me Butt-chug?” “No, we were going to group sack-tap you then throw you in the pool,” replied Trevor. “What’s a group sack-tap?” asked Tommy. He immediately regretting the question, for as soon as the words left his mouth the entire group of baseball players simultaneously punched him in the groin. “My Sharons!” yelled Tommy, as he fell to the ground in an immense amount of pain. As he lay, convulsing on the ground the group picked him up, took him outside, and threw him in the pool.

Back inside, Jason and Karen were still enjoying their pleasant conversation. Suddenly Adam and Carly burst in out of nowhere laughing up a storm. “Woah, somebody’s having a good time,” said Jason. “Don’t tell me you’ve been drinking too Carly,” said Karen. “Ssshhh, don’t tell anyone, I’m invisible,” replied Carly.  Just then Tommy walked in completely drenched. “What happened to you?” asked Karen. Tommy disgruntledly responded, “The baseball guys caught up to me.” “They didn’t make you butt-chug did they,” asked Jason trying to hold back his laughter.  “No, they just punched me in the dick and threw me in the pool,” replied Tommy. “Dude yur super wet,” said Adam. “Really I hadn’t noticed,” said Tommy angrily, “and you guys were too busy giggling in the corner to help me!” Carly drunkenly responded, “don’t be such a tortoise!”

As he was epressing his anger towards the others, Tommy looked over to see his sister, Kylie with Desmond. Suddenly Tommy stopped speaking. Wondering what could have thrown Tommy off so much, the rest of the gang turned to see what was going on. What they saw left them incredulous. In the corner of the room Desmond and Kylie were kissing very…vigorously. Tommy stood their speechless. Adam drunkenly said, “Dude, Desmond’s making out with your sister.” Suddenly Tommy screamed, “KYLIE!!!!” Suddenly pushing Desmond aside she replied, “Tommy?!” And the group burst into laughter. They couldn’t handle themselves. Tommy unable to cope with the grossness of situation, ran off screaming, which only made the group laugh even harder.  Adam laughed so hard he lost it and puked out all the booze saying, “hey guys I don’t feel so good.” Jason replied saying, “Hahahaha alright man, let’s get you home.” Together Jason and Karen picked up Adam and Carly, piled them into Jason’s car and drove home.
Jason dropped them off one by one until only Karen was left. As he pulled into her drive-way the two were still laughing about what they had just witnessed. “You said Tommy’s family was weird, but I didn’t think you meant that weird!” exclaimed Karen. “You can see what I mean now! They are so awkward it’s amazing!” said Jason. “Hey, well thanks for the ride, I had fun tonight,” said Karen. “Yeah I was doubting that that party would be fun, but it ended up being pretty fun,” said Jason. “Well see ya later,” said Karen as she walked into the dark house. And so Jason drove back to his house, went up to his room and immediately passed out on the bed.


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