Culture Shock

For some reason everyone from Vermont seems to think that Georgia is full of ass backwards redneck inbred racists, which is why everyone and their mom has asked me, “You’re going to Georgia Tech? Oh my goodness are you having like major culture shock right now?” The short answer is no. The long answer is NO! Are you crazy? It’s Georgia not the 19th century deep south (well technically it is still the deep south).

You might not have guessed, but Georgia is just like most places in America except balls hot all the time. So hot in fact that I had to invent my own temperature scale to accurately measure the heat.

Science!
Science!

Side note: I suddenly realize why they call it hot’lanta. Look, the fact is that Georgia isn’t that much different from Vermont, minus a few hipsters (And I think we both can call that an improvement). People from the north (myself included) tend to think of the south as being super racist, but I haven’t seen it. Why I haven’t seen so much as a confederate flag, although I did pass by the Kappa Kappa Kappa frat the other day. Man, do they throw a killer party.

Anyways there are some things that you have to get used to. For example: I know that Vermonters like myself like to joke that, “no one knows where Vermont is. They all think it’s part of Canada!” But I didn’t realize that seriously no one knows where Vermont is (does seriously no one teach geography anymore?!). How many times do I have to tell people that it’s that state in between New York and New Hampshire? Do people think there’s a black hole there or something? I wouldn’t call that culture shock really so much as it is just annoying.

The only other notable difference I’ve found is a lack of weed. It’s common knowledge (at the very least among Vermonters) that somewhere between 60-70% of the University of Vermont student population is high at any given moment. So naturally I assumed that Georgia Tech would be the same. I even prepared what I would say when some one inevitably offered me some of the spruce goose (a name I totally stole for the purposes of this post). I practiced my, “Sorry man, I ‘aint ’bout dat life.” and my, “Do you think I could get straight B+’s and A-‘s if I  was high?! Thanks, but no thanks.” (For the record I probably could). I was excited that I could finally use all that crap they taught us in DARE (you guys know what DARE is right?). But no! Apparently everyone in Georgia just drinks excessive amounts of booze on the weekends! What a let down. Whatever, at least I still have drunk people to make fun of. Side note: I’m developing a new variation of the Vermont Pastime: Cow tipping. I’m calling it Drunk Tipping!

Oh there is one more thing about leaving Vermont. Everyone tries to pass fake high fructose garbage off as Maple Syrup. It disgusts me, and I despise the state of Georgia for allowing such a heinous act to go on unpunished! Maple Syrup is delicious and comes from Maple trees (Also note how I capitalize” Maple” and “Tree”). That slop you shove into your throats is repulsive and comes from corn. Although I suppose I’ve been spoiled by Vermont Maple Syrup, I think I might be going into Maple Syrup withdrawal. Side note if anyone wants to send me bottles of Maple Syrup I will be eternally grateful.

 

 

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