Gilmo’s Guide to Extra-Curricular Activites

Here’s the great thing about school. When your not busy taking classes there are lots of things to do. Now, things change a little bit between Elementary School, High School, and College, so we’re going to have to address each one separately.

In elementary school there is one after school activity, and it’s so that parents have an extra hour and a half without your incessant annoyances, because let’s face it, your a child and your really annoying. Also that way they have time to make you a brother (don’t think about that one too much).  The other difference is, in Elementary School you don’t have a choice, because children are stupid and can’t make life choices. If I were you I would definitely go, you’re going to want to make as many friends as possible while you still think girls are icky, before you get distracted (ie before you discover the awesomeness of boobies). Also having a strong posse will really help you when it comes to recess which, if I remember correctly, is about as organized as the running of the bulls (or should I say the running of the bullies, ay!). Chances are you will meet your lifetime best friend at the after school program at your elementary school.

Elementary School baby!
Elementary School baby!

On to High School. Let’s say you were like me and didn’t go to the after school program in Elementary School, you have strong socially awkward tendencies, you didn’t do much in Middle School (you went to like two MathCounts meeting), what do you do now that your a Freshman? Answer: Everything. In High School it doesn’t matter what you like or are good at just do everything. But you’re terrible at debating? YOU’RE  JOINING DEBATE CLUB! You can’t run for your life? I DON’T CARE YOU’RE RUNNING TRACK ALL FOUR YEARS! It honestly doesn’t matter just do everything you’ll meet all those kids you don’t know (like the ones who went to the weird elementary school by the airport), and who knows you might even get a plaque for being terrible and track for four years like I did!

so...plague-y
so…plague-y

Oh boy College. Upon your entrance to your selected university you are given ultimate choice: you can do whatever you want. Want to make stuff? Join Creation Club! Want to deny Evolution? Join Creationist Club (I cannot emphasize enough that these are two entirely separate entities)! Want to feed squirrels? Join Freaking Squirrel Club! Two things about squirrel club A) That is a real thing (Not at GTech, the best we have is this) at U of Michigan, and B)  If you see a squirrel in Ann Arbor Michigan you TURN AND RUN, they are terrifying, because squirrel club has turned them into obese nut hungry monstrosities.

He will not hesitate to murder you and take your nuts.
He will not hesitate to murder you and take your nuts.

Where was I before the squirrel thing? Oh ya, you have total freedom to do whatever you want, so do it, but at the same time if you don’t want to you don’t have to, it’s not like you have to apply to college ever again (unless you go to grad school). In addition to having fun you will also meet a lot of new people, some of whom have boobies! (don’t you just love recurring jokes?) In college clubs are like hobbies. If it sounds cool, try it, if it’s not fun, just…don’t…go anymore, simple as that. I’ll give you an example. The other day I went to Badminton club, because badminton is freaking fun. Turns out Badminton club, super intense, also not a lot of boobies (I’m getting the feeling that the boobies thing needs to stop). Needless to say I will not be trying out for Badminton club, and yes there are tryouts for Badminton club.

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