Adventures in American Patriotism

Happy fourth of July! American Independence day. Today is just one of only about 300 days a year that we celebrate good old American ass-kicking. Well on a day such as independence day, there’s nothing better than sitting back and enjoying some classic American traditions (that we stole from someone else).

You can tell it's not Vermont because there are buildings.
You can tell it’s not Vermont because there are buildings.

We Vermonters, like all good Americans, like to celebrate the Fourth of July, with a grand spectacle of fireworks out. Naturally, our Fourth of July fireworks are on the third of July, because you know…math. I’m not entirely certain how fireworks were invented, but I’m fairly certain it went something like this.


Guy 1: “what was that?”

Guy 2: “I don’t know, but it was freaking awesome.”

Get it? Because stick rhymes with...
Get it? Because stick rhymes with…

Despite being invented in 7th century China, fireworks are as American as Apple pie (which we stole from the British). Of course Americans have always liked having a big stick, and fireworks are like truck nuts, call it overcompensation. Oh, now what am I doing? Where was I before my ramblings. Ah yes! Fireworks at the waterfront.

Being good Americans, my friends and I decided to partake in the evening’s festivities. Now let me give you some background, the fireworks were scheduled for 9:30 pm at the Burlington Waterfront, so we decided to get to Burlington at 5 pm. Normally one would take that opportunity to get a good parking spot downtown, but we said screw that, and parked as far away as possible, so we had to walk a mile, up-hill both ways. Now if you live in Vermont you know that in the summer it’s either pouring rain, or blazing hot. So we walked down to the waterfront, set up a good spot, then what? Go downtown, get some food? No of course not! We sat there…for four and a half hours until the fireworks. Then the bugs came. Bloody big ones too.

Well I suppose I should stop complaining. It actually turned out to be a nice evening, hanging out with some friends, watching huge explosions. Even the walk back to the car was rather enjoyable, as I engaged in what has to be the nerdiest conversation I’ve ever had. But more on that later.