In honor of Cinco de Mayo I hereby dedicate my 49th post to this honored…Mexican?…tradition. For starters, what does Cinco de Mayo celebrate, honestly I don’t know? I guess I’ll just make it up.
Back in olden days the Mayans were a rich and prosperous people. They cherished luxuries of the finest quality, handmade from the nearby rainforests. But alas, all was not well in the kingdom, for the dreaded conquistador The Il Cartographer came upon the peaceful people demanding gold and slaves. The brave Mayan leader Technochocolate stood up to the fiend telling him and his Spanish compadres to’ “beat it bozo!” Angered by the Mayan king’s refusal, The Il Cartographer lay seige to the Mayan city. The Spanish reigned down hell with their European catapults and balistas. After weeks of bombardment, the city’s food supply had run dry. All they had left was but a small amount of Mayonnaise. The town authority on weights and masses told the mighty king Technochocolate that the supply would hardly last a day, as the Mayans were fond of Mayo’s creamy texture, great for sandwiches. But in fact by some miracle the mayo lasted for five whole days at which point the dreaded conquistador, held his head in shame and cried, “no es bueno senior, NO ES BUENO!” as he walked away a broken and defeated man. For days it could be heard, the cheer of the mayan people:
And so it shall be recognized that on the 5th say of may we shall pay homage to those brave Mayans who dared to fight against the Spanish conquistadors. Viva la mayonesa!
In honor of those brave souls I shall speak in Spanish for the remainder of this paragraph. Hola me llamo Gilmo l’araña discotheque. Manteca es gigante, el perro manteca. Cabeza es nieve. Bigotes de la cabra es Cameron Diaz! Palabra
So I hope you have a wonderful Cinco de Mayo tomorrow! If you happen to get a sandwich, be sure to ask for extra mayo! And in the meantime catch up on all the things you’ve missed so that you can be ready for my 50th post celebration when Cinco de Mayo actually does come around! Oh, and be sure to tell you’re friends!