Call Me Maybe: Explained

Hey do you remember when Call Me Maybe was a thing? You may be surprised to learn that that wasn’t too long ago when Carly Rae Jepsen captured America’s heart with her super catchy tune about someone named Maybe. Well today I will be explaining all the intricacies of this song that is still stuck in my head, it’s just so darn catchy!

K-Pop scares me
K-Pop scares me..this is K-Pop right?

Now I have a few problems with this song right off the bat. First off Carly Rae Jepsen is Canadian. What happened to good old American music? Since when did we start outsourcing our music to the great white north, what’s next are we going to start outsourcing to Korea!? Wait a minute…NO!

Now as for the song itself. I have to hand it to Carly Rae Jepsen, the music video for Call Me Maybe is actually pretty funny, I laughed out loud on several occasions.

Strike two comes from the old Justin Beiber. It pains me to say, but according to Wikipedia, this song was only really popular because Justin Beiber tweeted about it while he was in Canada (do Americans make music or are we too lazy?). You could probably guess that I do not have a positive opinion of the  Beibs, which makes this social trend all the more revolting.

Initially one would be led to believe that this song has little to no meaning, given that it only has about fifteen different words. Wikipedia would lead you to believe that this song is about “basically a pick up. What person hasn’t wanted to approach somebody before and stopped because it’s scary? (wiipedia, that’s close, but we’re missing one key part. Before saying, “I missed you so bad” about 20 times, she says, “And all the other boys/Try to chase me/But here’s my number/So call me, maybe?”  Now it’s subtle, but this Maybe person is a prostitute. If you don’t believe me there are some more lyrics that I think will prove my point.

Later on Carly sings, “Your stare was holdin’/Ripped jeans, skin was showin’/Hot night, wind was blowin’/Where you think you’re going, baby?” She’s scantily clad, it’s a “hot” night clearly sexual innuendo, and then she says “Where you tink you’re going, baby?” I can only think of three circumstances in which that would be acceptable to say, and two of them involve a prostitute, and the third involves an actual baby. Oh yeah, and the créme de la créme (I can say that because I took french once) she states, “I’d trade my soul for a wish,Pennies and dimes for a kiss.” Wait isn’t that what a prostitute does? So clearly this Maybe person that Carly Rae Jepsen is talking about is a prostitute. All I can say to that is, well…whores be whorin’!


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