Basement Brew

My stand-up act is a closely guarded secret. It requires multiple layers of authentication to gain access to, and I am currently the only one who has ever laid eyes on it. The jokes themselves only exist in one secure location…well technically several locations, they’re stored on a remote access server, that can be opened by virtually any internet-enabled device with the proper authorization, it’s on my google drive. Seriously though, more is known about the next iPhone than is known about my stand up routine.

Now all the secrecy isn’t really all that intentional. For one I’ve never had the proper venue to display my act. Needless to say there aren’t a whole lot of comedy outlets in Vermont. Secondly I’m also really self-conscious about my routine, because I’m worried it’s not very good. See when writing comedy, or at least when I write comedy, you essentially plan laughs. It makes sense a joke here, a joke there, here a joke, there a joke, everywhere a joke, joke. The problem with that is all about the audience. I worry that a certain joke won’t resonate with my only audience: classmates, and you people who read my blog. To make things worse, when my jokes flop, they flop hard. But I suppose that’s where delivery comes in.

Spongebob is the ultimate authority on comedy
Spongebob is the ultimate authority on comedy

I think my issue lies in comparison. I’m used to listening to people like Aziz Ansari and Jim Gaffigan, so I naturally try to compare myself to them. But not only do these guys have experience, they are also hilarious, whereas I have no idea what I’m doing because I’ve only technically done stand up once. If Aziz and I were to go head-to-head in an 8 Mile-esque comedy battle-type situation, I would lose so badly that I could then recreate all the events from the movie 8 Mile. See what I mean that joke wasn’t even funny. What joke? Exactly! Only I could make a comedy-less blog post about stand up comedy.

Luckily for you (or unluckily) all the feedback I’ve gotten from this very blog has given me a fair deal of confidence in my comedy abilities. Then again it’s entirely possible that my friends are just lying assholes, but I prefer to look on the bright side of life. In any event, Spring fling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ling-ling or what ever it’s called is slowly approaching. It’s essentially spirit week, and on friday there is a bit of a talent compétition and the winner “performs” at the pep rally. Usually it’s dumb things that win; cool you can sing congratulations on joining the other 4 billion people who are capable of producing an audible tone with your vocal chords, do something original for once! As a result I’ve considered throwing my stand up act into the ring, but let’s just say I could use some additional convincing. So vote below, and leave you’re words of encouragement/discouragement in the comments. I’m sure there’s no way this could end badly.

P.S.For those of you wondering, Basement Brew is the name of my act.

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