Welcome to the Dreamscape

Hipsters aren't even cool in my dreams
Hipsters aren’t even cool in my dreams

I’ll be the first to tell you that dreams are awesome. Imagining yourself bare-knuckle boxing a Galapagos tortoise just makes sleep all the more enjoyable. The best part about dreams is that there are no rules, unicorns are real, animals can talk, Dane Cook is funny. So today I’ll give you a one time glimpse into what I like to call the Dreamscape.

The only problem with dreams is that sometimes they can be so awesome that they keep me from sleeping. I’ve stayed up half the night dreaming about my various movie ideas on numerous occasions. When I came up with the idea for my mockumentary I didn’t sleep for a week. The result is some incredible scenes that I have lined up in my head. It’s not always movies though, sometimes it’s simulations. I’ve simulated over 50 scenarios in which Brian dies before the age of 30, and I only kill him in half of them! In statistical studies I’ve been able to correctly predict future interactions with 68.3% accuracy. That’s impressive considering that modern techniques only have about 52.4% accuracy. In addition those stats are only 83% made up!

It's a valid point
It’s a valid point

After your iconic sleep-dreams, you get into daydreaming, an entirely different sector of the dreamscape. Usually when I’m daydreaming it’s about really deep philosophical type stuff. I’ll give you some examples: “The idea of good and evil is a myth”; “There is a fine line between crazy and genius”; “Science and religion are two ways of telling the same story”; “Batman is a fundamentally superior superhero to Iron Man.” I’ve considered writing books about my ramblings, but I’m too lazy to write a book, so I just make jokes.  I actually was going to write a book at one point, it was going to be called Utopia, but after some initial research I realized that Thomas More had already written it… 500 years ago.

The remainder of the dreamscape is dedicated to three mini scenarios. The first is when I finally crack, and is usually comprised of me making an epic speech. The second is mostly just processing the days events, and planning for the days to come. And the last one is private, so stop asking!