More, more they say! Well luckily for you my friends don’t all hate me, so part two it is!
If there’s one thing you need to know about Chester, it’s that he’s always stressed. The real tip off was the fact that everything he owns is covered in a fine layer of dried sweat. It’s ok because my psychic abilities tell me that he’s going to be famous some day, so I need to keep in touch. But when I say famous, I don’t mean celebrity famous, I mean Bernie Madoff, go to jail for defrauding the American economy kind of famous. Aside from committing mass banking fraud, Chester is also the biggest Apple fan-boy I know. Just take a look at his senior picture, it is literally an imitation of the cover of Steve jobs’ autobiography, and no he was certainly not trying to be ironic.
RoRo’s a quiet kid, but his house has a projector and nachos, so we keep him around. I will say that RoRo is perhaps the sanest among my circle of friends., which is good and bad. On the one hand he misses out on all the weird crap the crazier among us pull, but on the other hand, he’s hard to make fun of. You decide which is good and which is bad, but in any event, I’ve run out of jokes. Sorry about that, this doesn’t usually happen.
I know this one can be confusing, first RoRo, now FoFo? Well, I’m not very creative when it comes to names, so you’re just going to have to deal with it. FoFo is also fairly sane, so again I don’t have much material. He’s not the whitest kid I know (Bugbee), He doesn’t think he’s “ghetto” (Big Sneezy), and he’s not obsessed with Apple (Chester). He likes the Lakers, but that’s not really as funny as much as it’s just sad (What’s your record again?). Well I guess FoFo gets off easy this time.
I’m not sure quite what’s going on with Big Sneezy. Some of the things he does are just plain weird, I have tried and failed to describe him for years now, with no luck. He’s one of those people who tries really hard to be “hip,” but actually knows absolutely nothing about pop culture. I’m actually suprised Big Sneezy has internet access considering that he can’t walk down the street with parental supervision (which he needs all the time). He actually told me, “sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then i think, mmm… better not.” Nothing I can say will ever do justice to Big Sneezy, you really have to hang out with him for a day to get a grasp on what I mean.
I’ve only ever heard one person reference the movie 2 Fast 2 Furious: Tokyo Drift, and that would be the Jiff-Jaff. Now you can’t be too hard on Jiff-Jaff, he’s like one of the three blind mice, kind of clumsy, a little awkward, but you just want him to succeed. Add on to that the fact that I’m a terrible friend to him and I just feel bad poking fun. On numerous occasions, I have blatantly forgotten about him for whatever, for which I am truly sorry.
Bugbee’s…hm….how should I put it? Awkward. But it’s okay because what he lacks in charm, he more than makes up in sports statistics. I swear he could go for hours just listing off random statistics about every single palyer in 50 different leagues form 50 different sports, which would be awesome if I knew what an RBI was. Though I have to hand it to him, the kid can debate. Bugbee will debate anything, in fact we once had a 2 hour debate over the difference between a trench and a ditch (I still contest that they’re the same!), while ordinarily I would welcome a whole-hearted discussion of high level grammar, I really just wanted to go play football.