Valentine’s Day Part 2

Some of you will probably remember that odd post I made on Valentine’s Day, well let me take a moment to catch you up on the situation. Way back yonder on Valentine’s Day, after a great deal of contemplation, I decided to send that girl I’ve been talking about, a Valentine. I figured, hey it’s about time you stopped dreaming and actually did something. So that night I she sent me a message telling me she got it, and thanks, yadda yadda yadda. Upon reading that message, I spent the next three and a half hours freaking out, I’m not proud, but it happened. It was during that time that I looked for everything I could to just avoid the situation all together, at which point I wrote that weird blog post. Luckily, my main man DJ VKP told me to get my act together, and I eventually just told her the truth. Unluckily, I was shot down, but in the nicest way imaginable, to this day I’m still not sure whether I should have thanked her. But the story doesn’t really start until the next day, because it was only then did I start to realize that I may have made a mistake.

First let me clarify what I mean by mistake. I don’t mean that I don’t like her, no that’s not it at all. What I mean is that it was poor timing on my part, I made my move too soon (dammit, another thing me and BB King don’t have in common). Instead of actually talking to her, and building a friendly relationship, what did I do? I skipped to the end and outright told her I like her, because if it works in the movies it has to work in real life! I don’t know maybe I just got caught up in the moment, sue me. Now I could blame lots of things, Valentine’s Day, bad advice, Brian, but in the end I really only have myself to blame. I realize that sounds really sad, and I can hear your “Awww’s” from here, but seriously, stop, I don’t want your pity. It may surprise you, but I’m actually not that beat up about it. See I’ve realized that there is no sense feeling sorry for myself, it’s counter-productive. That doesn’t mean I’ve given up either, far from it in fact. I’m just trying to figure out how to work around my mistake, because I don’t know how to talk to girls and its kind of awkward (remember this guy?).

Inspiring monologue aside, it felt really good. I’m going to be honesty, when I finally told her how I felt, it felt good. It was like a giant release of pressure, as if a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders (the bathroom analogy was tempting). For the first time in a long time I felt as if everything had been resolved. There wasn’t anything left unsaid, nothing left unresolved. There was a sense of completion, as if I could finally relax. It may not have been the resolution I had wanted, but at least now I’m at peace. For the time being I think I’m going to take a break from all this relationship blogging. For one my siblings finally found my blog and secondly, it’s exhausting. I don’t understand how people do it.

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